Last Monday, while Josh was in school, the rest of the gang went out. We lived it up BIG...he hit Rona and then the Mall. The mall is our downfall....we think that we are only going there to walk around, perhaps for a treat, grab lunch and then head home. BUT it is always after lunch that we walk around...you know exercising, walking off those New York Fries or that bite from Katie's Chicken Tenders at KFC. As we clean off the table, Katie asks "are we going shopping now, are we going to buy something?" I laugh and say, "we'll just walk around!" Then it happens, we are getting close to the Disney Store..it is then I say, like all the other times, "you can go in, but we are only looking..right!?" We then leave the store with a bag, Alex got cars from Cars 2 and Katie got Snow White figurines....fail! BUT they were on SALE!!
As we head home, I casually mention that we shouldn't tell Josh everything...that he might get upset..might is the keyword...HE WILL get UPSET! He will crumble into the couch and say that its not fair and that he will never go to school again! I then got the idea of picking Josh up after school and heading out to Walmart and Zehrs...he needed to buy Valentine treats for school. So, that's what I did...I snuck out of the house...NOW I have to sneak out if I want to go alone, or Katie is always there, like my shadow. I got Josh and we drove to Walmart. He was happy. I usually walk to pick him up, so when the van is there, its like a treat. From the Walmart parking lot, he held me hand and said it was nice to be with just me. He picked out treats and even chocolate for Matt and myself...cause as he explained "we are his best friends who help him with his homework."
After paying, I walked over to the McDonalds and we went in. He was wondering what we were doing....cause we have never gone in before. Inside I offered him a treat...he chose a McFlurry. Holding hands, we gave in our order and then walked to bar stools and sat down. He ate while looking out into Walmart and then I told him about the day and what we did...and he was OK with it, cause he got a treat too...alone with no other siblings. It was then he said " its nice to do this with you Mommy. We never do things like this, alone...just you and me." It was then I felt the McFlurry spoon stab me in the heart.....it made me think. We hardly did things together alone anymore. Its either all kids or two kids, or just Katie...Josh will opt to stay at home with Matt and play computer games. His words still resign with me....it made me sad....he is only 6 1/2...and we have almost stopped doing things alone...together.
I guess too, I need to refocus, break my time apart...so each child gets that one on one time. With three kids and a husband who works long hours, its hard to find that time. But I have vowed to find that time...plan it, perhaps on the weekend and just have that moment with each child! Even now, I can still recall everything and his words.....it hurt me and made me feel bad! Its amazing what our children can say or do that will affect us to the core of our being!
Geesh....I just wonder what Katie is thinking or even Alex!! Three kids, triple guilt! I can see the teenage years now.....
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